This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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