I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Randomize
