i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
