Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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