idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
