It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
