It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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