Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
