I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
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