Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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