so explain again why im purple
no
P.S. I can't hear my feet
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
