sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
True strength comes from lack of pants
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
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