i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
