I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
