i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
