even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
