just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
