Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
