just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
