I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
