SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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