I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
