My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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