felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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