She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
