she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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