hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
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