I must be too annoying 4 u.
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
