So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
