Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
what day is it and did you see me today?
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
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