In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
