I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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