I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
