i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Randomize
