my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
