i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
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