that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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