she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
