im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
