bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
