I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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