If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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