yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
You are the jesus of drinking
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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