Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
