I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
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