Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
