so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
