My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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