i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
