he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
